The Old Tin Shed

In a couple hours it will be Christmas here.  Once that would mean getting dressed for midnight mass.  I however stopped many years ago now, im not one to be a hypocrite and attend only for the major occasions   I don't feel I should so I don't.  Though it has been made perfectly clear by our local church I am not welcome anyway. I have not lost the main reasons for Christmas, and that is the belief of many that man's saviour was born.  I don't consider myself a Christian any more, and although many would see it as a bad thing, I don't.  You see when my Church banished me and my kind and then actively campaigned against us, I was left with no choice.  You see my point for acceptance has always been that everyone is made in the image of God.  Each of us is therefore perfect, so how can being me be wrong. With all my mental health issues to carry on with, I could not fight to reconcile with the differences.  Instead, I chose to see if anyone could help me on my wa

I know I haven't been around much, for that I do apologise for those who I have not been reading and commenting, I will be doing so in the next couple days.  The long and the short of it, been really busy business is doing things which is great for me, but means less down time to blog.  Have made some changes to make that better so should be around for a bit. Anyway was watching a doco tonight on old war birds, so thought I would do a photo blog from images around the web of those beautiful fighting machines.  Of course I wont get them all but if you can think of something that I should most definitely add please let me know. Sopwith Pup WWI Sopwith Camel Supermarine Spitfire  ME109 Corsair Mitsubishi Zero Dehavilland Mosquito Fighter Bomber P45 Mustang F86 Saber Mig 15 F4-C Phantom Mig 21 Well that's as many as you get this post.  I will make another post over the Christmas period going into det

Does happy dance around the desk... The car is fixed everyone.  It went to the Euro specialist yesterday and well, he worked out what was wrong and its all fixed and running like a dream.  He took off the Throttle body and cleaned it then proceeded to pull the leads off every sensor and clean them.  Unplugged the ECU from the loom and then put it all back together.  Problem solved. Basically one of the connectors was dirty and giving bad feedback to the ECU, the ECU didnt know what to do so got all hung up.  After the error codes were cleared and everything back together the problem is solved. More interesting is the fact he said the car must have sat for a while for the connectors to get dirty as normal day to day usage keeps the connectors from corroding.  Now the hard decision do I keep it or buy something else.

Yeah well I waited till every other blog in the world had done this to death.  My honest opinion  neither candidate gave the voters any real choice, and Obama being the incumbent, gives you 4 more years of relative stability, allowing for the full troop draw down and a cut in US defence spending. Its to be seen if he can fix the poor employment and financial issues facing the US at the moment, but both sides need to play fair and make the best choices something I am afraid we will never see. There is one thing that is reassuring in the whole process is that power was transferred without conflict, something millions of people around the world wish they could have, a chance to vote for their own government and be assured that their vote counted. Congratulations to the President and I pray like many that you can live up to your promises.

To commemorate the end of WWI I am posting a song written to commemorate an Australian Defeat, most Australians would be familiar with this, for those who haven't heard it before I suggest a listen and a read. "And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda"  - Eric Bogle Now when I was a young man, I carried me pack, and I lived the free life of a rover From the Murray's green basin to the dusty outback, well, I waltzed my Matilda all over. Then in 1915, my country said son, It's time you stopped rambling, there's work to be done. So they gave me a tin hat, and they gave me a gun, and they marched me away to the war. And the band played Waltzing Matilda, as the ship pulled away from the quay And amidst all the cheers, the flag-waving and tears, we sailed off for Gallipoli. And how well I remember that terrible day, how our blood stained the sand and the water And of how in that hell that they called Suvla Bay, we were butchered like lambs at the slaughte

Hi all, and IT techie post for those who are interested. I decided a few days ago that I needed to get the hell away from windows since it was causing me some major issues.  Tried a few distro's not much grabbed my fancy.  Straight ubuntu is nice but to be honest I am not that excited about their desktop.  Kubuntu became the obvious choice. Now so far have had a few issues that's for sure, but nothing I havent been able to overcome.  It seems that its getting better and better.  There are a few annoyances which will probably see me change to something else.  Primarily the noise and feedback through the speakers and its inability to change sound to my very expensive headset.  Couple this with having issues sync my Ipod and im kinda looking at Linux mint again. Will keep u informed.

Hey guys I know you all love me but thought I would let you know we passed our 200th post today. Man I must have a lot to say Cheers

Hey all hope you like the new green background thought it was time for a change been at least a couple months since the last change.  They say change is as good as a holiday after all. Cheers

Well another Friday what can I say.  For all those trying not to count or notice, but another year is drawing to a close quickly.  I can personally say that its been a long one in so many ways. Overall its been a productive year on a personal front, my partner and I learned to talk to each other and to make room for each other.  My mother has her life semi sorted out, and our relationship is the best it has been in years.  My best buddy in town and I are closer than ever, I am learning each day how much I appreciate him and what he has brought to my life.  My mate from Philly Eric has come through another year with his father making his life a living hell.  But our business partnership now seems to be well cemented. On a work front nearly 2 years of research and development allowed us to go live with our business, and although the uptake has been slow so has our advertising, due to limited funds.  I'm proud of myself for sticking it through, even though at times it brought back

I know my posting has been at best haphazard these last couple weeks but with the med change and everything it hasn't been the easiest of times. During medication changes there are several measures as to whether the medication is going to provide a better solution than existing medications.  Firstly its how it makes me feel in the head.  ie can i think can I remember short term.long term, can I put a concept together, the dreams or lack of.  All very important metrics.  The last medication change to Sapharis was successful in the that I could put concepts together only so therefore it was a failure on this front Secondly what are the side effects of the medication.  Sapharis like most anti-psychotics gave me bad cravings for carbs.  Changed the way my food tastes. I gained nearly 4kg in 17 days, so on this front it was a major failure also. Unexpected reactions.  It was envisaged that the new med would help me sleep without the need for sleeping medications.  I had the opposi

Well that's unlike me no?  Well this little black duck has had enough of our female housemate.  She is an open out and out B**ch.  She is passive aggressive and says one thing means another.  She upset me very unwell partner 3 days ago and its been brewing since then. She is the first to lose her shit when someone makes a mess in the bathroom but just drops all her plates and cooking gear in the sink even when the dishwasher is open and empty.  Yes I said dishwasher, WTF is her malfunction.  She tells one person one thing and then another the opposite.  She bitches about parking under the cover then parks on the streets for days.  She is a mental case and I will not have this BS in my house. My partner wont say anything but is backing everything.  The little princess is going to be told the main bathroom isn't her's to do as she pleases its a common area in the house she has to look after.  As for stealing my food.  I am over it, I don't have spare $$$$$ to feed her

Hey all.  Hey EF I know your probably grinning right now, but I have to say my car is still broken :( Bloody Renault.  I picked you out EF because I had no sympathy when you were going through car troubles recently, and well that bloody guy murphy doubled with Karma has bit me in the arse. To the tech heads out there, I have replaced, the alternator, the fuel pump has been tested, crank angle sensor replaced (Huge Job, 6.5 hours eek) We have checked oil pressure and replaced oil and filter, and cleaned the cam shaft dephaser solenoid.  And we are out of things to fix.  Well not quite.  There is a theory amoungst those trying to fix this car that the actual cam dephaser pulley is failing. This is a very expensive thing to get fixed.  Its around $450 for the pulley and then around another $500 for labor. So I am getting the car taken to a Euro specialist in town here let him look at the car and work out whats wrong just in case its something else simple that we cannot work out at the

Was watching the TV just now and three little words had me crying like a baby. Thats my Son. Its what dad said the day I surprised him on Holidays, he was crying he was so happy to see me.   Great memory, and a moment to live for

Howdy guys I know its been a few days, but things are settling down now.  Looks like I have a drug which can effectively help me without having to take copious amounts.  I know it will take some fine tuning from here on in, and im sure my doses will be adopted to how my mental health picture presents over time. Traditionally Christmas is a hard time for me, maybe this year will be different since I wont be trying to shift house.  I hope the medication changes we have implemented this year will also make a difference to how I cope over the Christmas period.  I know I would like to get to Mission Beach so I can go talk to dad and wish him a merry Christmas and of course share a port with him, like we did every year since I was 7.

Yeah yeah I can hear you all sighing now.  I have spoken about Hate before and how its not acceptable to teach it to our young.  Yet I am sure there is not one of you out there, that in some form or another teach hate to others around you.  Yes that is a big call from me but please let me explain. Hate in itself is insidious, it reaches into every part of our lives, every day we repeat or see something that is hateful.  Not intentionally, in fact quite often its not intentional and the people sprouting the hate don't understand that they are in fact doing harm.  I'm guilty of it, I have often said things about different people races, creeds etc that are generalizations that are hateful in intent.  I caught myself today calling a Muslim woman a terrorist when she walked out in front of me while I was driving.  Not a nice thing to say, what made it worse was the three children she had with her. I sprouted the hatred that has grown in me since 9/11.  That date in itself was

Another timeless classic for you all.  I remember a time when Cyndi & Madonna were all over the charts, where clothes were mad and hair styles to match.   I find the lyrics to this song amazing  My favorite verse is this  After my picture fades and darkness Has turned to gray Watching through windows You're wondering if I'm okay Secrets stolen from deep inside The drum beats out of time If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time A real song writer in the 1980's who would have thought it, remember pop had no meaning right ? Lyrics below Lyin' in my bed I hear the clock tick And think of you Caught up in circles confusion Is nothing new Flashback warm nights Almost left behind Suitcase of memories Time after Sometimes you picture me I'm walking too far ahead You're calling to me I can't hear

Hey, just wanted to let you know how I am going with the medication change.  It wasnt as bad as the worst case scenario but, has been pretty debilitating. Was a lot better today than i have been most the week. Think this med is a keeper, in my good moments my mind is a lot clearer, so only time will tell. Thanks for thinking of me

Well today is a day that I have both dreaded and wished for.  Contradiction no.  I have wished for better medication, but dread what it means.  You see I made a promise to myself a long time ago, that I would do everything in my power to get better, to become some kind of "normal".  I hate that word, because no one is normal, yet it fits what I am trying to say. Part of this journey I have undertaken is a constant change of medications.  Its been a hard road many days to sick to even be awake. But my life and my ability to live have benefited greatly for it.  Yes there have been some steps back, but that is to be expected. Not every drug is going to work for me, such is the state of psychiatric drug therapy. So tonight I stand on the precipice again. I am willing taking a risk with my life, I am going to make myself unwell in the hope that a new medication will make my life better again.  Its a hard choice, at my doctors today we went over every possible reaction I could

Winston Churchill is a controversial man, one who made serious mistakes in his life that cost young men and boys their lives.  But he is also considered the only man for the job during the second world war.  From his heroic savior of the British Expeditionary Forces at Dunkirk to his rousing speeches in the house of commons, he can be and is seen as an extraordinary person a man made for the moment. His personal and often painful speeches to the population of England during the second world war showed his innate ability to rouse a population and to put into words what many were feeling.  To me he is a hero of the highest order, he not only fought the NAZI's but also his own personal battle with depression.  His forward vision saw the carving up of Europe to east and west long before his speech in the UN about the Iron curtain. He did everything he could to warn us but by then the world was deaf to his calls. I come across his speeches from time to time, this one I came across

Hi; Saw this music video for the first time just now.  Yes its another LP video, but I think its amazing, and definately worth the watch.  I don't think there is another artist in the world today that could do that topic the justice that it deserves. LP at their best, im blown away Lyrics Below; Take me down to the river bend Take me down to the fighting end Wash the poison from off my skin Show me how to be whole again Fly me up on a silver wing Past the black where the sirens sing Warm me up in a nova's glow And drop me down to the dream below 'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass Hardly anything left for you to see For you to see Bring me home in a blinding dream, Through the secrets that I have seen Wash the sorrow from off my skin And show me how to be whole again 'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass Hardly anything left for you to see For you to see 'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of

Hi all; Well we took a very large step forward today in getting this car back onto the road and operational.  We had friends over last night and Ben works for a company that deals with car electrics and fuel.  We got talking about the issues I have been having and offered to run my ECU over the latest computer diagnostic machines to see if we could get any closer to a solution. So headed over there this afternoon, plugged in the computer set it up, and presto straight away 3 errors recorded on system.  Now I know that sounds bad, but in this case it was good.  Seems Greg diag computer could not read my system. We have a fault at the crank angle sensor and the Camshaft Dephaser.  Ben called the guys who knew what this meant and we have two possible answers. (1) The oil in the car is incorrect. When the service was done in Sydney the guy could have used the wrong oil.  This will cause the dephaser to not work correctly when adjusting the VVT cam timing. It could also be throwin

An update of sorts.  As you all know there have been issues with the car of late, and that we have been replacing some very expensive bits trying to get it sorted. Well Friday lunch time took the poorly running car over to the mechanics to replace the Alternator that I ordered brand new from the UK the week before.  He tells me before I get there that I should be able to do the work on my own..  Turns out there isn't a chance in hell I could have lol.  We had some major drama's getting it fitted, but its in and has cleared one set of faults.  We also fitted the washer motor that hasn't worked since I got the car. It wasn't a total loss the alternator was bad and causing issues, but its not the reason for the stalling and poor running.  We now heavily suspect that it will be the fuel pump.  We would have checked the fuel pressure on Friday had the apprentice not destroyed the tester a couple weeks ago. So going in on Monday to see if that is an issue.  If it is shoul

Hi all.  Normally on this blog I try to keep away from current affairs, I may delve from time to time into issues of personal importance to me, but I try to keep it refrained. However today I am going to step out of that realm to set some so called experts right.  I will be talking directly about the up coming engagement between Iran and the rest of the known world, over its badly hidden nuclear weapons program. First things first.  There is no love lost between Iran and Israel, Iran has repeatedly stated that it will burn the state of Israel from the map.  It has incited violence and sponsored terror throughout the middle east and the world.  It claims to be a peaceful loving country, yet its actions show it to be anything but.   The US and Iran are also long standing enemy's, with the US having sponsored a war between Iran and Iraq with bad consequences as history has shown. But there is more to this future conflict than meets the eye.  Firstly none of Iran's neighb

Hey all.  Unlike most people the winter in the tropics is the best time of the year, the humidity is low and the temperature is nice and warm.  However it does present its challenges.  Once we are in the winter or dry cycle we may go three or four months with no rain at all.  This means the poor garden gets a bit of a hammering, as does the lawn. We started watering in earnest about 3 weeks ago, and the garden is flowering which is awesome, please don't ask me what each flower is as I have no idea, I just know they look fantastic and I thought I should share them with you all. I love this time of year, its a bit like the calm before the storm, as we move towards the heat of December and the wet by January.   It was one of the hardest things I had to come to terms with when I moved here was how hot and wet the summer months are, but hey we have the best winters on earth, and I challenge anyone to come live here and say otherwise.  Wont be long will have tons of green tree frogs

Well itst that crazy time of the year again here, both the major footy codes had their grandfinal this last weekend.  Crazy one eyed supporters everywhere. You see although I have a favorite team in both codes, I really have no real value in watching them play.  But it has not always been this way.  There have been years where I havent missed a game in either code, where I have screamed yelled, abused the ref and so on.  But these last years since the illness, I find it irritating and not entertaining.  Alas I feel kind of what Caligula did before he went on his rampage lol. Now that was a joke example, but a general felling of I have seen it all before courses through my veins.  Now im sure ed will call me all names after that admission, and I probably deserve it..   About the only sport I can watch right now is WRC...

The cars alternator arrived today, took it out of the box handed it to the mechanic and guess what..  The positive pole is broken off in the body of the alternator, in lay mans terms its fucked.  Contacted them via email with pics of the broken pieces etc, now we wait. Its already been 3 weeks since it broke down on me.  FFS..

Hey all, been a little while since I did an update on the CISS system I have installed on my primary network. I have an epson workforces 840, with wireless networking.  I purchased this printer because of its ability to duplex on the fly and to auto scan and fax.  To be honest its an amazing printer, we regularly print border less A4 photos off this machine, and we have them up all over the house.  To put it simply the CISS has made this a real possibility.  If I was paying for standard cartridges or even refills there is no way we could have afforded to print the number that we have. It really came into its own when a customer required full color hand outs for a promotion they were doing.  We printed a couple thousand of these and the CISS made it very cheap to do. The savings are great.  The whole CISS system including inks with the kit were around $100, I only purchased refills a month ago.  For $100 I have 2 full fill ups all colors.  Remembering that the CISS holds 10ml  whi

Hey all this is rather long and talks about what has been going on with me on a mental health note most the week Earlier this week I fell into one of the biggest mental holes I have been in in years. I was travelling along nicely, dealing with the stress of the car off the road, and other relationship and family issues that were going on in my life.  Then suddenly late on Tuesday afternoon I diagnosed the problem with the car. It turned out to be a faulty alternator (more on this later).  I felt great, I had worked hard an consistently to reach that point, I had effectively used my resources at hand, and in the process probably saved myself thousands of dollars getting the car repaired at the dealers. There was a huge release of pressure and underlying stress.  As per usual, it made me feel pretty good about myself.  That I had proved that I could deal with high levels of stress and that I had gotten a lot better with my illness. Well in the end that's not what happened.  I

Hi guys.  Just an update the car is no closer to being fixed at the moment.  I am doing as much of the diagnosis of car issues as I can with the help of some online forums.  We have eliminated, a lot of things and are marching down the road to a solution.  Im dealing ok with it. As i mentioned a couple of posts ago I am dealing really well with this so far, thanks a lot to the valdoxan and and attitude that I am learning the car by doing all of the work.  And yes I have learnt a lot about my car over the past week or so.  If all else fails it goes to the dealer for diagnostics on the 3rd of next month.  I am hoping to have it sorted before then.  If not when they work out the issue I will have an answer and will have learnt something more. Unlike Mr Flimsy cups car problems for me are a chance to learn something new.  With all the electronics in the car there is plenty to learn thats for sure.  Modern cars are sensitive beings who like things just right or they wont go.  We have co

Hey all.  Unless you have been hiding under a rock you would know that the Mayan Calendar ends later this year.  Many say it will be the end for humanity.  Me personally I think they should buy some tin foil and go hide under a rock somewhere. Anyway for giggles here is a link to a counter for the countdown to the end of Humanity Mayan countdown clock Just thought it was a bit of fun.

This is one of my  favorite songs.  I know a lot of people see it as a sad song but to me, its about the release of a tortured soul into eternal grace.  That is something to be happy about Lol a night of alternate music ahead

There have been very few times throughout my life that I can honestly say that I have been ashamed to be an Australian citizen.  I am normally very proud of what this country stands for and its values.  Well today I don't feel that way at all. Im not sure how many news services around the world reported the going on in Sydney a couple of days ago.  An illegal protest was arranged an it turned violent.  Sydney Riot To say I am angry and disgusted by these actions is an understatement, most Australian are, and average people are asking why should we allow these people in our society.  We are a free society where protest and being heard are part of the equation.  The violence was unacceptable leave your hate at the door when you come here or simply put most Australians don't want you here. It has brought out the best and the worst of the multiculturalism in this country, what happened is unacceptable and I think one image from the day says it all.   Hate is taught and I ca

Hi all been a few days, just thought I would give you an update on my med status and how I feel in general right now. Firstly let me say that Valdoxan has been a major success for me so far.  The initial agitation and side effects have now passed and I have found that mentally im stronger and able to deal with stress better on this medication. Importantly I feel I have more confidence when things go wrong.  For example my car has an intermittent fault at the moment and its taking a while to locate and fix.  Normally the anxiety associated with this would have me heading for a Xanax.  Instead im cool calm and collected about the whole thing.  Yes I am anxious but its more than manageable. As you will have noted have had a tough couple weeks relationship wise, but we seem to be through it and things have definitely changed for the better between us.  I know a few of my posts during this period have been dark, but I posted them knowing a post like this would follow. Its import

This is the last post in this vein, but thought the previous posts would show people that even in our darkest hour there is hope.  I got through the bad stuff yet again, and I am well and happy and contented.  This song by creed has some interesting lyrics so thought you might be interested in a listen  Dancing" Ringtone to your Cell     "Don't Stop Dancing" At times life is wicked and I just can't see the light A silver lining sometimes isn't enough To make some wrongs seem right Whatever life brings I've been through everything And now I'm on my knees again But I know I must go on Although I hurt I must be strong Because inside I know that many feel this way [Chorus:] Children don't stop dancing Believe you can fly Away...away At times life's unfair and you know it's plain to see Hey God I know I'm just a dot in this world Have you forgot about me? Whatever life brings I've been through everything And now I'm on my k

Firstly let me say that what is below was written by me about 5 days before my mental breakdown, that started my journey.  It was posted on a blog at the time, one I have left abandoned, partly to leave that time of my life behind, but also because what was written there was part of my soul that was in anguish and its to easy to re-live those feelings. Now I know in the wake of the last couple of posts that you guys might be getting worried about me.  Yeah I am still hurting and parts of me want to save this but my head says no.  I am in no immediate danger of hurting myself, I am re- posting this to let others know that they are not alone when it comes to mental pain.  Where it was originally posted I had over 500 comments. HERE IS YOUR WARNING THIS IS NOT NICE, IT COULD BE UPSETTING TO SOME PEOPLE, IM NOT JOKING AROUND HERE.  IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES THIS MAY NOT BE FOR YOU TURN BACK NOW. I don't want to wake tomorrow I dont want to wake up tomorrow