The Old Tin Shed

A little while back I made a post about Stephen Fry and his speech on New Years Eve. He has a documentary on the subject and I strongly suggest that if you havent watched it you do.  Its a wonderful piece that shows with great tenderness and open brutal honesty, what it is like to be Bipolar,  It sets out to and achieves its aim on showing the viewer what it is really like to have the illness and the day to day struggles for those with it and those around them Please take the time, I am more than sure you will enjoy this documentary Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

I have posted before about my musical tastes and how they range and vary greatly from most people.  I promised that from time to time I would share some of my tastes with you the educated reader. I fell in love with Gregorian Chant nearly a decade ago, and have several albums in my collection. However there is one song, that I find beyond beautiful, and has some very personal meaning to me, if you have a minute take a look and listen to some very beautiful lyrics. The youtube video above Lyrics Enjoy :)

Now I was all set to do an in depth review of this film, but now after watching it for a second time I find I cant. Its not the kind of film most people would watch, and it covers a topic that most anyone who knows anything about the West Bank and its history will cringe at. It is a heartfelt film, at times painfully so as our main character starts to remember and everything that goes with that.  In war everyone involved is changed some more than others. If your up for something different something that will change the way you feel, please find a copy and watch it.  It know its in Hebrew but there are subtitles available. I put this film in the category of a film that matters, and certainly one of the 100 you should see before you die.  A masterpiece for sure built around a terrible tragedy.

Well as you read in the last post I shifted house all day today, now as its nearing midnight I have guests to take half way across the city because I am the only one who is sober. We had a BBQ tonight, with gourmet sausages from our local butcher was brilliant and really nice to eat.  Problem is they all want to kick on till after midnight when I want to go to sleep.  The perils of being sober lol. Was nice doing the BBQ cook up, this new place makes all of that so easy with the BBQ only feet from the back deck and pool. Think there have only been one or two nights since we moved in that I haven't used the BBQ for either a roast or for some nice cooked steaks or similar.  It dose a roast brilliantly, seems to sear the juices in, had pork beef lamb and chicken for Christmas day all done on the BBQ it was amazing. Anyway off to take drunk people home.

Ok. now you all know how much I hate shifting house. More specifically how much I hate shifting furniture down and up stairs.  Well today we went to go help one of my partners friends.  Due to the fact she is under 25 I rented the removal truck in my name with the intention of only driving it.  Ha Ha Ha the laugh is on me. We arrive at her place to find a Huge modular couch, An incredibly heavy front load washer fridge and solid timber bedroom suite, including tall boy.  Now you could probably imagine how unhappy I was to see all this furniture.  What made it worse is it was all on the second floor with stairs that make the Himalayan, mountains look like a bowling green.  To top it off the monsoon is here, humidity is high and the Suns scorching. So much for only 2 hours.  We loaded the truck and took it to the place she was going to move in.  She got there and proceeded to burst into tears, saying she didn't want to live there.  She had originally organized to live with us.

Its something that we all experience, and there are multiple types of pain.  For the purposes of this post we are talking about emotional pain. Some years ago now I took a very serious step and tried to end my life.  I drove my car at high speed into a fairly large tree.  I wasnt successful obviously, but I was broken and damaged in ways people could never imagine. We use the word pain a lot in mental health, its used to cover a wide variety of feelings.  I can tell you from experience you never want to feel the pain I felt that night.  Even the pain from the crash didnt come close to the pain and emptiness that had become me. My carers often ask me would I do it again ?  Would I try to harm myself ?  I answer I don't know.  Believe it or not its the truth.  I cant say no I wont, because given that level of pain I might again decide no life is better than a life of never ending suffering.  People find this so hard to deal with, primarily because they have never experienced wh

Hi all, been a little while since I posted and for that I do apologize.  However I have a great excuse. You see I moved house.  I wont say it was a pleasant experience, because it wasnt, it was down right horrible.  The move day was set weeks in advance we organized a truck and started packing.  There was a whole heap of drama around the house we were moving to but thats another post. So the big day arrives, up early get the truck go to the new house do final condition report, get to the old house around 11.30am.  It was HOT HOT HOT, the sun was fierce and it was humid as all hell.  Turns out over 30 people presented at the hospital with heat stress.  Was the hottest January day on record. So we decided to retreat into the house and the A/C and have a sleep till it cooled off a little. Was a great plan, but it didn't cool down, around 4.30pm we started moving all the heavy stuff, the next 13 hours are a blur I made 2 trips in the truck to the new house, and we finished the la

Mum left to go home around 5.00am this morning, her flight was delayed but she still arrived at her destination on time. So what was the outcome of the visit.  It proved what I had feared all along that mum would be incapable of keeping her opinions and attitude to things on hold while she was here.  We are both very strong willed people at times, and she has a habit of wanting to butt heads with me.  I think three major flare ups over the 16 days was probably good for us, but she certainly knows how to press my buttons at will.  Even after a doctors visit by me she was able to get me to fire up. This is all well and good for a short visit but it worries me that she wants to move into the city in a year or two.  I dont know if I could put up with her BS long enough without killing her.  She has a habit of forcing me to do things that I am simply not interested in doing.  Even after explaining to her there was no point in trying to change things, she did it anyway. I think this sh