The Old Tin Shed

Hey all; Sorry about the time between the last post and this one, but a lot has happened in my life not all of it fantastic but its happened anyway.  So lets get into the list. (1) My now ex and I split after 4 years, its been interesting to say the least, he has been immature in his actions and words.  I would like to stay friends but I see that as increasingly difficult to do.  I still have two computers out there which I hope to get next week all going well. The split was from both sides, we both saw it coming, just neither of us wanted to say it.  In the end it happened after he took the house key off my keys didnt tell me and left me locked out of the house in the heat.  I was coming down off the jagged pill so I let fly.  The straw that broke the camels back I suppose. As it sits we text every couple days, he has asked me to do things for him, and I have turned him down.  He is now seeing the true cost of me not being there.  I had t...

Hi all; This post has been a long time in coming, lots of things have changed in my life since I first wrote this blog and it has been a mish mash of different topics and things that were going on in my life.  Importantly it allowed me to share with others my journey with mental illness. To that end I feel the blog has been a success, although we haven't had many comments we have consistently had lots of readers.  For me its been fun, and at times a stress relief when things haven't been the greatest, my greatest satisfaction came from the fact I knew I was helping someone. Right now I have a ton on my plate, with school, having to shift and everything coming together at once.  I feel massively overloaded by it all, but realize that deep down this is what I wanted.  I don't want the chance to contemplate to much, I just want to do and get it done. Just over 3 weeks ago now I stopped the diet, when the stress o...

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I have not had a great 3 days on the diet, have eaten each day and have actually gained some weight.  Yes heaven forbid.  But there are some real reasons which I have realized while driving to pick my partner up from the clubs at nearly 4.00am. I have noticed that if I don't get enough sleep I seem to not loose weight but worse consecutive days of no sleep I seem to gain weight.  Last night I only managed about 5 hours sleep the night before 6, and tonight isn't looking much better. Im not sure there is much science to all of this, but I know I always flush more fluid from my body after a good sleep, normally busting to go when I wake up.  If I don't get enough sleep I don't need to go when I wake up.  Like I said, Im not sure there is any real science to it, but its an observation I have made about myself. I have been seriously beating myself up over the lack of weight loss and the gain but its l...

You know I have been sitting here tonight after the last post, taking stock of my life and what I want for myself and my future.  The last couple weeks have been a bit of a watershed for me. You see normally I don't do much for me, I normally get the greatest satisfaction helping others, but this diet has made me see things in a completely different light.  To look at me in a way that I haven't since my late teens early 20's.  Back then I was a well built man blond hair blue eyes and a smile that would melt the hardest heart.  As I have stated things changed for me, and I just went into hiding. What do I mean by that ?  I mean I no longer wanted to be seen for what I was, I was hiding a big secret and that secret was enough to make me not care what happened to me or how I looked.  I grew a beard when that wasn't fashionable and disappeared into food. The diet has made me rethink how I see who I am, I want to be seen a...

Hey guys, found out a couple days ago the owners of this house (friends) are being forced to return early, so we have to go house hunting again.  To say I am a little stressed would be the understatement of the day that's for sure. Have a short list of places now we just have to work out how we can do this in a very short time. We thought we had at least another year here, oh well as they say that is how the cookie crumbles. On a good note, weight loss is still steady im below 114kgs now nearly 15kgs lost.  Couple more weeks of this will be at the initial goal of 110kgs.  Then to decide if I want to keep going or not, right now I am unsure but its still fairly easy to stick to the diet and I am not having very many adverse affects to the weight loss. My biggest problem is my clothes are all starting to get to big.  Under ware is the biggest issue they are to big and uncomfortable.. Oh well I can see some shopping to get new ones soon.

Hey all, decided I should drop by and give you an update on the weight loss, and how its progressing. The 28th of this month saw a full month of weight loss under my belt, and me still steadfastly dedicated to seeing this through.  I have had the odd weak moment when, I think why should I bother any more, and I will admit that in the middle of last week I had a weak moment while I was out and ordered a burger. But what they say is true, falling off the horse isn't a bad thing as long as you get back on, and I did that alright.  Although it slowed my weight loss down quite a bit, things soon swung back into the groove.  My daily losses are not as consistent now, I have the odd couple days that I see no net loss, but overall I am still loosing nearly 1 Kg (2.2 pounds) for every 6 days I am dieting,  This is by far a more sustainable weight loss amount than that of the first couple of weeks. I'm down under 116 Kgs (255.7 pounds) ...

Just a quick note to let you know im under 120 kgs for the first time in 8 years. Im loving it to. Diet is easy now, im not hungry at all so that makes it great.  Just have to keep at it now.

First of all, Happy New Years, glad to see you all still around. The day after boxing day, I started in earnest on a diet.  I know I have tried this multiple times over the past year, but I am doing well, having lost 5 Kgs so far. Trust me this is far from easy, food and the comfort it brings me, makes for a very complex relationship.  You see when I was in my early 20's I was blond haired blue eyed, built guy with the 6 pack and huge chest.  I did a couple of modeling shoots as well.  I had made the commitment to fitness and health.  But it all changed for me.  The reasons are complex and at the time I made a myriad of excuses as to why I let myself go.  Mostly it was the repression of my attraction to men, I didnt see why I should look after myself if I had to live the way I did.  Over time eating badly and not exercising became habit, but it became more than that. It became a comfort when I was unwell, and at the same time made me unhappy...

Well all I return with some semblance of my sanity.  Has been a tough couple days, didn't feel like talking eating (I need to not eat more often lol ), or in general communicate in any way form or manner.  However unlike others who don't shower or shave or ... well u get what I mean, I am the opposite I shower and preen myself to the point i am OCD, I wash all my clothes even if they are clean.  God forbid I should Iron though now that's just one step to far lol. Why wont someone buy this car ? Well per usual got stood up 3 times over the weekend when it comes to the car.  Disappointed hurt and very annoyed that people don't even have the common courtesy to call you and say they are not coming.  I suppose one good thing out of it all is that I got the car spotlessly clean, and now I can put the car service off till next week.  I am so emotionally invested in getting rid of this car, I think it was...