Will his effect die with him?

The last couple days I have been thinking of the legacy that was felt behind when Chester took his life.

The sheer volume of work they created I think will keep his memory alive, and now I am not upset I am loving it all over again.  Chester is your watching us from above, please know your music will keep on saving lives, even though it could not save yours.  RIP buddy and one day we will meet where the oceans bleed into the sky,


Cant win

Off to the doctors again today and tomorrow, cant win


Thank you

I have had a huge couple of weeks readers, doing the dreaded house shift.  Per usual the agents are being dicks and causing me hassles but that's for another day after they get creamed in court.

As most of you know im not especially well a lot of the time and stress makes me even worse. So I wanted to thank my special family and a close friend for all their help during this time.  And today especially to our close friend she stopped me from going into a full melt down.  Tomorrow is an off day for everyone and back to the fight on Monday.

Hope we dont move again any time soon


If you knew

Hi all I know a lot of my stuff has a dark edge but I think this one is a little different.  I actually pondered this on the way back from the city this afternoon.

As far as I know we are all Mortal and do not know the time or date of our lives.  So I pondered this question today.  What if you somehow found out when you were going to die? What would you prioritize as the most important things to do?

This is not a simple question to be asking, I found the more I pondered the more and more my ideas narrowed, until it came down to just  a couple of things.  Now I am going no where near religion here I am talking about practical more than spiritual things.

So here is my short list.

(1) Tell my mother I love her despite her flaws, and make sure she understood what I wanted when I was gone.
(2) Tell my partner how much I love him and make love and sleep in each others arms
(3) Tell my closest two friends how much they have meant to me over the years
(4) Cry

Everything came down to those thi…


To Chester

I know you did what you did because of the pain you were in.  I'm sorry your gone, but insanely jealous that I right now cannot follow you and end my own torment.  I hope your at peace your bright spark will live for ever.

I'm jealous I cannot follow you, I'm sick of the pain


Who am I

This is one of the hardest of all questions that we as humans can ask of ourselves.  Some people spend a life time in deep spiritual contemplation seeking the answer to this very question.

Now not to take from those people but inside us all is the answer to that question.  Whether or not we like the answer is a different story.  nearly 15 years ago now I looked to see who I was and what I saw scared me, I attempted to make changes to change that person.  In hindsight it was a terrible time of my life to be doing it and it was a contributing factor to my breakdown.

More recently I have looked again and seen someone completely different, this person is broken yes and at times wants his life to end.  But he is kinder, cares about others more than himself, and has finally found the thing he had hoped he would find.  A person who cares about the truth above everything else.  I don't suffer fools or liars well.  I accept people for who they are but I dont have to accociate with those …

Some Terrible News

Firstly let me start this with a :(

A man who I loved to listen to, who suffered the same deamons lost his fight last night.  He was found hung this morning and I am one who has shed many a tear an amazing guy, true perfomer.

So goodnight  Chester and thank you for everything you left behind so we can remember what an amazing person.  So glad I got to meet you.

So a good night ths is I am sure we will meet again, and again we will have that same feeling.

I will see you where the oceans bleed into the sky