Saturday, June 28, 2014

I Miss my Dad Today

Woke up this morning wanting to talk to him, then the reality bit.  I do miss him a lot.


Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Shhh dont tell the landlord or the neighbours.

Im being a bit naughty tonight, no its not yet another hookup for some blindness sex, its something way better.

I have my bully staying the night, I will get cuddles and a tongue bath for a wake up in the morning, have a lead here so will walk her when I get up.

Been struggling hard this past 4 days and John suggested that having her here might help me.  So although the complex allows dogs the land lord does not.  But for one night at least she can stay here.

I have a really tight 6 weeks coming up, im kind of really down over it all.  Its the last of the hangover from the move and will I hope finish an end of having more expenses than income.  I have an advertising plan all sorted and costed just no money to do it.  Im going back to the way I built my first business and its a method that works.

More importantly I helped a client make  a smart decision this week, he seems to have some confidence in me again and I hope that means I can make some more money off him along the line.

Have been promised a NBN internet connection Thursday so that should be interesting, shame it took me to go to social media and bag the hell out of the company to get things sorted.  In the end it should work out ok, but by hell im not paying a damn cent for the connection they can shove that bill where it fits.  on 9 occasions I was lied to and fobbed off.  Good thing I worked for myself in the past as I keep detailed notes of who I speak to their ID numbers and what was said.  Tends to screw them all in the end.

I might have Tier 1 NBN Monday night and then I can watch some YouTube docos...

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Ronald Reagan A Soldiers Pledge Listen Learn Remember

Remember we are Americans

Im not but you get the idea.  I love Regan, he changed the world for ever, but he never forgot the hero's those who gave their lives.  He was an interesting man and incredible president.  Its a shame we don't have him now.   Rest In Peace

The Ultimate Motivational Video - To The Glory! -

" Im going to show you how great I am"

Friday, June 20, 2014

Who Wants to Live Forever

Queen at their very best;

The movie that this was played in

Other Queen Song From the Movie


Lyrics for both songs


Who Wants To Live Forever Lyrics
There's no time for us
There's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams
Yet slips away from us...

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever.....?

There's no chance for us
It's all been decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment
Set aside for us

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever.....?

Who dares to love forever
When love must die?

But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can't have forever
And we can't love forever
Forever is our today

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today

Who waits forever anyway...

 Princes of the Universe

Here we are, born to be kings
We're the princes of the universe
Here we belong, fighting to survive
In a world with the darkest powers
And here we are
We're the princes of the universe
Here we belong, fighting for survival
We've come to be the rulers of you all
I am immortal
I have inside me blood of kings (Yeah, yeah!)
I have no rival
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of you all
Born to be kings, princes of the universe
Fighting and free, got your world in my hand
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand
We were born to be princes of the universe
No man could understand
My power is in my own hands
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
People talk about you
People say you've had your day
I'm a man that will go far
Fly the moon and reach for the stars
With my sword and head held high
Got to pass the test first time, yeah
I know that people talk about me
I hear it every day
But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time
Yeah yeah
Alright, let's go, let's go
Haha! this man fly
Bring on the girls
C'mon C'mon C'mon!
Here we are (here we are)
Born to be kings, we're princes of the universe
Here will we belong
Born to be kings, princes of the universe
Fighting and free, got your world in my hand
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand
We were born to be princes of the universe

 My favorite scene and ending of the first movie

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Ive been a Bad Blogger

Hey all;

Sorry about the time between the last post and this one, but a lot has happened in my life not all of it fantastic but its happened anyway.  So lets get into the list.

(1) My now ex and I split after 4 years, its been interesting to say the least, he has been immature in his actions and words.  I would like to stay friends but I see that as increasingly difficult to do.  I still have two computers out there which I hope to get next week all going well.

The split was from both sides, we both saw it coming, just neither of us wanted to say it.  In the end it happened after he took the house key off my keys didnt tell me and left me locked out of the house in the heat.  I was coming down off the jagged pill so I let fly.  The straw that broke the camels back I suppose.

As it sits we text every couple days, he has asked me to do things for him, and I have turned him down.  He is now seeing the true cost of me not being there.  I had to laugh readers when he rang me about the electicity asking me when it was switched out of my name.  I did it the day before I moved you see.

The bill out there was around $135 to $175 a week, it was sending me broke.  I complained to get told it was my issue deal with it.  Well it seems since I left they have gone to town on the electicity use, he got a 3 week bill and it was $890.00.  Now all of a sudden he is doing something.   He has asked me to service all 3 of his cars.  I said fine for $125 an hour I will.  That shut him up quick.  Said well go find a mechanic to do it for you there are plenty around.  On top of this the housemate, pulled her road bike apart and got stuck so they called me to fix it.  Said straight up not interested.  (Sick of young girls, but thats for another post).

(2) Moved house, as part of the split I decided that I should move out and I have, im back into one of my favorite parts of the city North Ward. In a 1 bedroom appartment not two blocks from the strand and 3 blocks from the supermarket.  My fuel costs have plummeted since I moved in here.  I put $60 in two weeks ago and still have most of it there.  Living out with my ex I was putting that in twice a week lol. 

I dont have much at the moment my ex promised all sorts of things out of the house, I am not holding my breath he has managed to bring over a toaster and kettle but hey I had already got them. I want some stuff mum gave me out of the kitchen and my Webber BBQ as well but they can wait till more water has passed under the bridge.

So I went out and got what I needed tools wise have enough to do what I want at this stage.  Ordered the internet on the new NBN but its not due to the install till the 16th of this month and who knows if the modem will turn up in time.  Im looking forward to having both speed and unlimmited data again.

(3) I got a new car.  2008 Citroen C4.  Lovely car so nice to drive and great on fuel, I unfortunately scratched it a couple weeks ago, will get it repaired when I have some more cash available in a week or so.  To be honest I probably wont hit the wall again so its money well spent.

My mechanic was as jealous as can be when I drove it up his driveway, told me he thought it was the best car made in Europe for the decade.  High praise from a man who only works on euro's

(4) Being single.  THis has been cool for me, yeah I have slept around a lot but its been fun, was a great pick me up after the breakup where I felt that no one would be interested in me.  I have been safe about 90% of the time but I am also human and well in a moment of lust we dont all have a level head. 

I went to the sexual health clinic this morning did the HIV test and took blood for others she said she did not expect to find anything, because I looked healthy and had no symptoms.

I am enjoying having my own space my own time and not having someone breathing down my neck every minute.  I can leave dishes in the sink and the world wont explode.  I can leave my clothes on the couch and I wont get a punch to the face.  Its my house my rules.  Its clean its tidy and although there is junk on my desk there is always junk on my desk.

(5) I have lost 8kg.  Dont know where it went but turned around yesterday jumped on the scales and it had gone missing :p.  But I have a yearning now I want to get back into some form of physical shape.  Not having someone around me eating bad food all the time will definately make it easier.  I have even looked into getting my own free weight set and bench.  I haven't lifted in years and I would like over time to get some decent muscle density after all 41 years have passed if I dont do it now I never will.

(6) Finally my mental health.  Its been better and I have stabalized after the incident, for what ever reason I was suposed to stay here and I wont argue with that wisdom.  I use both xanax and valium a lot more than I used to. Im sure addiction is around the corner for both of them but as the doctor said what other choice do I have ?  None really, its as blunt as I take it when needed or I become unstable and hurt myself.

My uncle passed away last week the last of the men who were there for me as a kid.  No I didnt go down for the funeral, I cant do funerals, I would come undone in ways that would mean I could never recover.  I didn't send flowers, instead I sent something from my heart.  I sent a letter to my Aunty telling her how wonderful they both were to me as a kid, how they gave me guidence and grounding when dad was sick.  But most of all I remember how much in love with each other they were.  I will miss him a lot, my memories of late have been about all the times I was there and how much I loved it.

Thats it for this extended post, for now I go lay down since I feel rotten since I have only had shakes.  But it will pass.


Monday, June 9, 2014

Thats right take another pill because you know you will

Hi all;

Firstly let me get you up to date.  Im now singe (look out guys here I come) and I now live alone.  Phil my ex and I have a very rocky friendship right now but thats ok.  He gets so jealous of me, and is trying to spend his way to happiness, something both myself and everyone else can see is destructive.

One thing I have noticed as a constant is the amount of pills I consume, just took a second stilnox. My psychatrist said to take what i need so I have.

In all I am in and happy