The Old Tin Shed

The last 20 hours of my life have to have been the worst ever.  I have been sick to a point where I passed out in the supermarket.  They called the paramedics for me. In the end they let me go home. I got doubled up with muscle cramps from coughing was laying on the floor screaming in pain even before I left the hospital. They hydrated me confirmed my medications and kicked me out about an hour later.  Since then I have contemplated not being here half a dozen times, and I have just taken my night meds to try sleep it off. To put it lightly I am one seriously fucked up unit tonight.  Im not well in the head and physically im exhausted from all the coughing.  Have to call the hospital tomorrow see if I can  get into see the specialst about the post nasal bullshit that triggered all this off. Anyway today fucken suck cats testicles and it aint good. going to bed soon Horse

This is simply brilliant. http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/this-antispeeding-ad-from-new-zealand-will-haunt-you/story-fnixwvgh-1226797541715#ooid=pqbmxtajrXQ_Kq1EF0TuWULvjZzY0RAJ Read watch and cry.  Because right now somewhere around the world someone is suffering the pain of loss because someone else thought it was ok to speed. Horse

As he heading suggests I wasn't going to write this.   I have been busy so busy in fact that I took today off, first time since last week of Nov I even worked Christmas day. I have neglected my needs and although I am happy to be doing something there is a real risk I will make myself unwell.  Given the complexity of the work I am not surprised that I have been the way I have, its been hard I did 12 hours straight yesterday to fix an issue.  But I fear that this is just the begining of my January spiral down. Every year around this time I crash and crash badly, firstly this time of the year is hard because I miss dad,I last saw him just 6 days from now, and I really wish at times I could have that moment again.  I yell at mum to grow up and get over him, yet I am struggling just as hard with his loss.  I want to be able to go through one christmas without feeling like someone took the best part of my heart away. So this year we are trying more lithium to see if that fixes t