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Pain

Its something that we all experience, and there are multiple types of pain.  For the purposes of this post we are talking about emotional pain. Some years ago now I took a very serious step and tried to end my life.  I drove my car at high speed into a fairly large tree.  I wasnt successful obviously, but I was broken and damaged in ways people could never imagine. We use the word pain a lot in mental health, its used to cover a wide variety of feelings.  I can tell you from experience you never want to feel the pain I felt that night.  Even the pain from the crash didnt come close to the pain and emptiness that had become me. My carers often ask me would I do it again ?  Would I try to harm myself ?  I answer I don't know.  Believe it or not its the truth.  I cant say no I wont, because given that level of pain I might again decide no life is better than a life of never ending suffering.  People find this so hard to deal with, pri...
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If you knew

Hi all I know a lot of my stuff has a dark edge but I think this one is a little different.  I actually pondered this on the way back from the city this afternoon. As far as I know we are all Mortal and do not know the time or date of our lives.  So I pondered this question today.  What if you somehow found out when you were going to die? What would you prioritize as the most important things to do? This is not a simple question to be asking, I found the more I pondered the more and more my ideas narrowed, until it came down to just  a couple of things.  Now I am going no where near religion here I am talking about practical more than spiritual things. So here is my short list. (1) Tell my mother I love her despite her flaws, and make sure she understood what I wanted when I was gone. (2) Tell my partner how much I love him and make love and sleep in each others arms (3) Tell my closest two friends how much they have meant to me over the years (4) Cry...
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Some Terrible News

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Firstly let me start this with a :( A man who I loved to listen to, who suffered the same deamons lost his fight last night.  He was found hung this morning and I am one who has shed many a tear an amazing guy, true perfomer. So goodnight  Chester and thank you for everything you left behind so we can remember what an amazing person.  So glad I got to meet you. So a good night ths is I am sure we will meet again, and again we will have that same feeling. I will see you where the oceans bleed into the sky Horse
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