Back to normal whatever that is

Well all I return with some semblance of my sanity.  Has been a tough couple days, didn't feel like talking eating (I need to not eat more often lol ), or in general communicate in any way form or manner.  However unlike others who don't shower or shave or ... well u get what I mean, I am the opposite I shower and preen myself to the point i am OCD, I wash all my clothes even if they are clean.  God forbid I should Iron though now that's just one step to far lol.

Why wont someone buy this car ?

Well per usual got stood up 3 times over the weekend when it comes to the car.  Disappointed hurt and very annoyed that people don't even have the common courtesy to call you and say they are not coming.  I suppose one good thing out of it all is that I got the car spotlessly clean, and now I can put the car service off till next week.  I am so emotionally invested in getting rid of this car, I think it was one of the tipping points of my falling off the horse so to speak.

Every time I look at it, I see dad, and that's a painful enough memory, but then these people decide that the car is not good enough.  I see that as an insult to me and ultimately to dad, so I get a double hit.  Its easy to say its just a piece of metal.  But in my family cars are far from just a piece of metal, they are things of beauty and pride.

Me thinks that's me most of the time

I hate this not knowing when it will be sold also, I don't deal well with uncertainty at all.  Most of the time i am ok, because I can plan (even if they don't happen makes me feel better).  With this I cant.  I cant decide which car I might buy I cant decide where I might go to get one or how I get to and from.  I cant budget because I don't know how much money I will need.  All this keeps me on edge.  To be honest I hate it, but I cannot afford to trade the car on anything, at this point in my life.  So we go on waiting for someone to actually call up and follow through.

In all this whole experience for this car has taught me one thing.  Never promise to help someone out with your own money.  As I stated before the only reason I own this car is because I promised Dad before he died that I would buy it off mum after he passed away.  What I didn't do was specify how much I was prepared to pay.  I paid far more than the car was worth.  To rub salt into the wounds I have lost over 7K in value.  Then mum started on me about her getting another new car in November and wants a VW, but they wont give her enough on a trade.  So she was saying I could buy her existing car off her for $3000 less than new price.  The car is actually valued at under half of new price.  Told her no, im not buying another car from her ever.  She got all defensive saying how great the car was.  I laughed said no and said don't bring it up again.  Apparently she tried that one on my sister also.  She trumped mum though they got a brand new car just last week lol.

Wow I wish I had that much green

So a word to the wise.  Never offer to buy anything from a deceased estate, especially when you have no idea how much that estate wants for the item.  I know its hard when its family but you have to be strong enough to say no and walk away.  After all just look at the stress it has put me through, and my mother is callous about the whole thing.

Mmmm yes the war with the scales is about to begin.  

On another note, time for another shot a loosing weight.  The whole house here is on a diet without me so I may start tomorrow or the next day.  I really need to loose some weight.