This post has been a long time in coming, lots of things have changed in my life since I first wrote this blog and it has been a mish mash of different topics and things that were going on in my life. Importantly it allowed me to share with others my journey with mental illness.
To that end I feel the blog has been a success, although we haven't had many comments we have consistently had lots of readers. For me its been fun, and at times a stress relief when things haven't been the greatest, my greatest satisfaction came from the fact I knew I was helping someone.
Right now I have a ton on my plate, with school, having to shift and everything coming together at once. I feel massively overloaded by it all, but realize that deep down this is what I wanted. I don't want the chance to contemplate to much, I just want to do and get it done.
Just over 3 weeks ago now I stopped the diet, when the stress of the move and everything that went with it arrived I couldn't cope. I say that because I knew that the will power would be consumed doing lots of things I did not want to. To my credit this time I held it together, I didn't melt down during the whole 6 days it took us to shift, I didn't melt down when I realized we had spent nearly $3000 moving. I did have a crash though once it was done. I didn't post about it and that was fairly telling of how bad things were.
My partner was at work threatening to come home and take me to the ER I was that bad. All of the confidence the great feelings I had before the shift have vanished for now. I know they will return, but in the mean time life is just hard work for me right now.
Before I started this post I was sure that it would be my last one for now or for ever which ever eventuated, but writing here to you has again shown me why I like blogging, because no matter what I write someone will read it. Some one will understand what I am talking about and that will make me feel a little less insane.
I start the diet again this evening, I weighed myself and I am quite proud to say I have only gained around 1/2kg since I stopped, and most of that weight could be attributed to muscle density changes due to all the hard work of shifting.
I hope now to get more confidence during the weight loss which will get me going in the right direction again. To you all, thanks for everything, I simply wouldn't write if it wasn't for you all