The end maybe or is it ?

Hi all;

This post has been a long time in coming, lots of things have changed in my life since I first wrote this blog and it has been a mish mash of different topics and things that were going on in my life.  Importantly it allowed me to share with others my journey with mental illness.

To that end I feel the blog has been a success, although we haven't had many comments we have consistently had lots of readers.  For me its been fun, and at times a stress relief when things haven't been the greatest, my greatest satisfaction came from the fact I knew I was helping someone.

Right now I have a ton on my plate, with school, having to shift and everything coming together at once.  I feel massively overloaded by it all, but realize that deep down this is what I wanted.  I don't want the chance to contemplate to much, I just want to do and get it done.

Just over 3 weeks ago now I stopped the diet, when the stress of the move and everything that went with it arrived I couldn't cope.  I say that because I knew that the will power would be consumed doing lots of things I did not want to.  To my credit this time I held it together, I didn't melt down during the whole 6 days it took us to shift, I didn't melt down when I realized we had spent nearly $3000 moving.  I did have a crash though once it was done.  I didn't post about it and that was fairly telling of how bad things were.

My partner was at work threatening to come home and take me to the ER I was that bad.  All of the confidence the great feelings I had before the shift have vanished for now.  I know they will return, but in the mean time life is just hard work for me right now.

Before I started this post I was sure that it would be my last one for now or for ever which ever eventuated, but writing here to you has again shown me why I like blogging, because no matter what I write someone will read it.  Some one will understand what I am talking about and that will make me feel a little less insane.

I start the diet again this evening, I weighed myself and I am quite proud to say I have only gained around 1/2kg since I stopped, and most of that weight could be attributed to muscle density changes due to all the hard work of shifting.

I hope now to get more confidence during the weight loss which will get me going in the right direction again. To you all, thanks for everything, I simply wouldn't write if it wasn't for you all

Comments

  1. You have been through the ringer, nice to see you back out on the other side. Keep on keeping on :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So God Dam Annoyed History Repeating

Yes another post.

Bull Terrier