Mid life crisis ?
The last couple of days have been very difficult to deal with, im mentally unstable again, and this has brought on a set of thought processes that are not particularly helpful.
See there are a couple things I have had to come to terms with. Firstly that I wont have anyone in my life when I am older. Its not just a gay thing but something I came to the realization a long time ago. That is very few people stay in my life for very long. Even relationships have never lasted.
Secondly and the hardest to deal with is the way my life is now. I'm not 100% sure I can handle much more of this. Being a burden on others, having days like this. I think I would rather not be around if thats the case. Have lost 6 years to this illness and I don't want any more. I'm right at the bottom of a very dark pit right now have been for a couple days.
Feel like this is as good as its going to get. If it is im not interested in fighting any more.
See there are a couple things I have had to come to terms with. Firstly that I wont have anyone in my life when I am older. Its not just a gay thing but something I came to the realization a long time ago. That is very few people stay in my life for very long. Even relationships have never lasted.
Secondly and the hardest to deal with is the way my life is now. I'm not 100% sure I can handle much more of this. Being a burden on others, having days like this. I think I would rather not be around if thats the case. Have lost 6 years to this illness and I don't want any more. I'm right at the bottom of a very dark pit right now have been for a couple days.
Feel like this is as good as its going to get. If it is im not interested in fighting any more.
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