Leaving is sweet sorrow

Its full moon again, and it has me thinking and contemplating something I do a lot of around the full moon.  I find  I gain a lot from doing this, as it allows me to confront and deal with issues.  Its been a long road for me and lots in my life have changed.  I would not change a thing because without the pain without the illness I would not have what I have now.  I would have missed out on a lot some good some bad.


Anyway, I was thinking about endings.  How important they are, and more importantly how important they are for us as human beings.  There is nothing that is endless everything has an end even the universe in which we exist.  One day there will be nothing and the cycle will start over again.

For me I look back and there has been lots of endings, some I knew were coming and others I didn't.  Even as a young man I understood endings.  An example was when I changed schools in year 8, the last day of school I walked around committing the school to memory, because I knew deep down I would never return.  I still have those images today.

I have stated many times that I would spend part of my school holidays on a diary farm that belonged to my uncle had been in his family for 3 generations.  The last time I left there I did not know it would be my last, but it was, and in a way that is a good thing to.  I didn't get to see the place empty after the clearing sale, so my memory is of a working property.

I realised tonight that endings don't have to be bad, that often they are a window to a new part of your life.  That to move forward and onward with memories is better than to be stuck in the same place for ever.  I admit at times endings are painful, with the passing of family members and those close to me, but I know they have moved on and my life will.  As long as the sun rises and I can take breath it is forever forward, safe in the knowledge that one day even for me there will be an ending.  When that time comes I want to be surrounded by my memories, and looking forward to meeting those I lost along the way.

Life, death, beginnings and endings, all essential to us as human beings and now for me a little easier to deal with.

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