Family Troubles
Why is it that everything to do with my family has strings attached. I will try and make this a brief as possible but I need to give you some background first.
My father passed away recently after a long protracted fight with cancer, I hadn't been down to see him or mum in several years, so I made the effort. I hired a rental car and drove the 3500kms to see my parents. The whole time I had not seen them they made out the me that they had no money that their cars were falling apart and that they needed help. I arrive in the driveway to find not 1 but 2 new cars one only months old. I didn't get upset or anything just let it go because dad was failing. I stayed a two weeks then returned home with a promise I would be back at Christmas, another 3500kms and I was home.
Week before Christmas in my brand new Suzuki swift, I drove down to see them again. We had a wonderful Christmas, the first time we had all been together in many many years. Here comes the catch. I was out washing all the cars with dad, when he turns to me and says. " When I am gone can you buy the car off your mother so she can get one last new car." I agreed to do that for him. That trip was the last time I saw him.
Come March of that year, mum calls the car rego and insurance are due, I cant afford to pay them. Reluctantly I told her if she paid for it I would give her the balance of both when I purchased the car. What followed was guilt trip after guilt trip that I hadn't brought the car yet. In the end I sold my 1 year old Suzuki swift to buy a 5 year old Mitsubishi. I cried the day my Suzuki left me.
Then there was an argument on how much she wanted for it. She had been offered $10,000 on a trade in, but needed at least $16,000 to get what she wanted. I wanted to pay about $12,000. She guilt tripped me into agreeing to pay $16,000 for the car. So in December I went down to get it. Paid in cash. Now to top this off I had stamp duty and transfers to pay on the car when I got home. All 4 tires were totaled plus the cost of the trip the $10,000 car that I paid $16,000 for ended up costing nearly $18,000
Come to tonight, got told by the workshop repair place they cant get parts to repair the car after it was run into for another 4 weeks the car has already been of the road for 12 weeks. (Note I will never ever ever own another Mitsubishi ever again.). I called up mum to bring her up to date. She started on me, you still owe me $70.00 for the rego/insurance... She went on and on and on and on. The moment i bring up how much I paid for the car she lays out that they lost the caravan (I paid for) the Toyota Landcruiser (I paid for). The boat (I paid for). That they had to go back to work after my breakdown and they lost the house (they borrowed against without my knowledge). Basically saying its all my fault. I hung up in her ear.
My counselor told me not long ago that mum knows how to push my buttons, that she has and continues to manipulate me for her own personal gains. I love mum but I cant be made to feel like this every time she wants to do something. I know exactly what she has in the bank, I had to sign off on it because of dads will. $70.00 I can assure you isnt going to break her bank. I feel no obligation to pay it to her now either.
My whole damn life and my relationship with my family would have been better if I had just said no to Dad. He asked me to try and help mum to try and keep some relationship. I'm telling you I am on the verge of another breakdown under all the pressure that the relationship with her is causing. So what am I to do?
No communications for a week with her, make her realize that I am a human being with feelings. Distance myself from her. I am so sorry I purchased that car it has been nothing but bad luck since the day I picked it up. Im going to re advertise the car for sale once the repairs are completed. I cant drive it anywhere not because of the damage but because in just under 10,000kms the car is due for a timing belt and that is a $1300 exercise.
Sorry for the rant, hope you can forgive me.
My father passed away recently after a long protracted fight with cancer, I hadn't been down to see him or mum in several years, so I made the effort. I hired a rental car and drove the 3500kms to see my parents. The whole time I had not seen them they made out the me that they had no money that their cars were falling apart and that they needed help. I arrive in the driveway to find not 1 but 2 new cars one only months old. I didn't get upset or anything just let it go because dad was failing. I stayed a two weeks then returned home with a promise I would be back at Christmas, another 3500kms and I was home.Week before Christmas in my brand new Suzuki swift, I drove down to see them again. We had a wonderful Christmas, the first time we had all been together in many many years. Here comes the catch. I was out washing all the cars with dad, when he turns to me and says. " When I am gone can you buy the car off your mother so she can get one last new car." I agreed to do that for him. That trip was the last time I saw him.
Come March of that year, mum calls the car rego and insurance are due, I cant afford to pay them. Reluctantly I told her if she paid for it I would give her the balance of both when I purchased the car. What followed was guilt trip after guilt trip that I hadn't brought the car yet. In the end I sold my 1 year old Suzuki swift to buy a 5 year old Mitsubishi. I cried the day my Suzuki left me.
Then there was an argument on how much she wanted for it. She had been offered $10,000 on a trade in, but needed at least $16,000 to get what she wanted. I wanted to pay about $12,000. She guilt tripped me into agreeing to pay $16,000 for the car. So in December I went down to get it. Paid in cash. Now to top this off I had stamp duty and transfers to pay on the car when I got home. All 4 tires were totaled plus the cost of the trip the $10,000 car that I paid $16,000 for ended up costing nearly $18,000
Come to tonight, got told by the workshop repair place they cant get parts to repair the car after it was run into for another 4 weeks the car has already been of the road for 12 weeks. (Note I will never ever ever own another Mitsubishi ever again.). I called up mum to bring her up to date. She started on me, you still owe me $70.00 for the rego/insurance... She went on and on and on and on. The moment i bring up how much I paid for the car she lays out that they lost the caravan (I paid for) the Toyota Landcruiser (I paid for). The boat (I paid for). That they had to go back to work after my breakdown and they lost the house (they borrowed against without my knowledge). Basically saying its all my fault. I hung up in her ear.
My whole damn life and my relationship with my family would have been better if I had just said no to Dad. He asked me to try and help mum to try and keep some relationship. I'm telling you I am on the verge of another breakdown under all the pressure that the relationship with her is causing. So what am I to do?
No communications for a week with her, make her realize that I am a human being with feelings. Distance myself from her. I am so sorry I purchased that car it has been nothing but bad luck since the day I picked it up. Im going to re advertise the car for sale once the repairs are completed. I cant drive it anywhere not because of the damage but because in just under 10,000kms the car is due for a timing belt and that is a $1300 exercise.
Sorry for the rant, hope you can forgive me.
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