So when does it happen

Yeah that's right when does it happen?  When does the world full of conman and thieves give up their trade and leave the rest of us alone.  When do the people in my life leave me alone and not demand things of my I could not possibly supply.

In the end it will be me laying on the bed lifeless taken the pills that were needed to get me there.

Its no ones fault just my own for ever thinking I could reach outside my safety dome,  Really dumb and stupid thing to do considering my current level of existence..

death whispers in my ear that it can come take all of this away.

tonight he wins that game

night all


Edit:  It was another bad night, been having way to many of them as of late, all brought on by stress.  I just want out of this existence (not a life) that I am enduring again.  Im not happy at all, not even remotely so.  

I just want away somewhere where I can start again, I have so many reasons to be happy but none of them are my reasons.  In the end its a constant cycle of ups and downs permeated by dispair and anxiety.  Im not sure I can keep things together but we will see I suppose.  Only person keeping me here is Phil and soon, I will drive a wedge between us also.