Dont want to be here

As the title suggests I don't want to be here any more tonight.  Its time to take meds and allow sleep to take the sad away.  Will be taking the jagged pill of course, but that sometimes makes things worse not better.  I dont have my boy to keep an eye on me, so I guess Im doing this on my own.

I shouldnt be feeling this way but I am, im worried about my future and ultimately im worried about what happens next with me.  I have images in my head of people finding me laying on the top of the bed dead.  Me escaped the illness and life at the same time.  Its a feeling from my damaged soul, tonight I may want to sleep with the angels but will they want to sleep with me

BP sucks. 

 Just the nightly dose happens every day how do you think it makes me feel to have to swallow all that.