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Showing posts with the label reasons

So the Cycle continues

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Hey all; well the cycle continues im crashing and fairly hard at that. Physically unwell I caught a stomach bug over christmas and my usuall complaints left me on 4 lots of anti biotics this past week. Im over tired, I am stressed and I have been having thoughts of suicide once again.  Been to the point of planning in my head how I will end it.  What I will leave behind and ultimately what I believe will happen to my body and my soul once I die. It cant be right to be punished this way, I have paid more for my mistakes than any man on earth I am sure.  Tonight I am sitting here sleep not coming like it should.  I have taken the normal med supply will delve into the extra's shortly. So why do I say its a cycle.  Every year since my breakdown I come off a kind of manic high and collapse into a depressed state.  No its worse than that I fall into a place where I no longer care if I wake up tomorrow or not.  Where I no longer care what people thi...