The Old Tin Shed

This is not a rant, its not something bad that will bore the crap out of you.  Its just some observations after self evaluation again. I havent been that well the last 10 days have had to take some very major steps to keep myself in check, have been to see the doctor and have taken on some extra support.  But I am dealing with it as its happening.  Everyone around me is amazed at how I am keeping myself in check. But this is more about me, and not the illness its more about the observations I have taken since the trip to Brisbane.  I see myself as two different people.  I see the person I show the world, and the person who lives in my world. The person I show the world is controlled, has insight into his world both emotionally and in a general sense. At times it shows the me underneath but only when it can stay in control of the events.  I try my best to be honest with the world, to show the real me.  It has been something I have kind of...

Hey all this is rather long and talks about what has been going on with me on a mental health note most the week Earlier this week I fell into one of the biggest mental holes I have been in in years. I was travelling along nicely, dealing with the stress of the car off the road, and other relationship and family issues that were going on in my life.  Then suddenly late on Tuesday afternoon I diagnosed the problem with the car. It turned out to be a faulty alternator (more on this later).  I felt great, I had worked hard an consistently to reach that point, I had effectively used my resources at hand, and in the process probably saved myself thousands of dollars getting the car repaired at the dealers. There was a huge release of pressure and underlying stress.  As per usual, it made me feel pretty good about myself.  That I had proved that I could deal with high levels of stress and that I had gotten a lot better with my illness. Well...