The Old Tin Shed

Well the first potential buyer of my car has just been, they have one more car to look at and will let me know. Should be good, was very proud of the way it presented.  Will keep u updated

Came across this video, while burning up my bandwidth on you tube this morning.  Hope anyone who thinks they are just animals, will change their mind after this. If you dont feel compassion for our nearest cousins after this then your not human

Hey all.  I don't know how many of you have seen this, but it brings tears to my eyes.  The beauty is undeniable. Enjoy Think I might watch it a few more times :) Lyrics for the song below Howard Blakes "Walking in the air" We're walking in the air We're floating in the moonlit sky The people far below are sleeping as we fly I'm holding very tight I'm riding in the midnight blue I'm finding I can fly so high above with you Far across the world The villages go by like trees The rivers and the hills The forests and the streams Children gaze open mouth Taken by surprise Nobody down below believes their eyes We're surfing in the air We're swimming in the frozen sky We're drifting over icy Mountains floating by Suddenly swooping low on an ocean deep Arousing of a mighty monster from its sleep We're walking in the air We're floating in the midnight sky And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly

You know from time to time you see a movie, quite often one you have seen a couple of times, but for whatever reason, this time you hear something different. Cryptic yep, but I am an avid anime fan, have been for as long as I can remember.  The first Anime movie I ever watched was Ghost In The Shell.  Most people who read this will have never seen it, unless your Japanese then you most likely have.  Like all Japanese Anime it delves into topics that cannot be covered in other media.  I have seen this film maybe 100 times, but today, today something stood out.  Introverted maybe but it stood out to me. There are countless ingredients that make up the Human Body and Mind. Like all the components that make up me as an individual with my own personality.  Sure I have a face and a voice to distinguish myself from others.  But my thoughts and my memories belong only to me and I carry my own sense of destiny. Each of those things are just a small par...

Ugg im in bed its only 9.00pm. All the stress of the last couple days has hit me.  Internet connection dropped to slower than dial up is the last straw.  Taken a jagged pill and normal meds and im off to the bliss of deep sleep and no dreams.  At least i have stopped crying.. Night all

Its nearly 3.00pm here and only just got a sms from mum telling me she is ok.  Lovely thanks mum.  Well that's the straw that broke this camels back.  For 4 months I have been counseling her trying to help her.  But you know what ?  Its not my job to do that, why should I hurt myself to help her. So here is what I am going to do about it.  I will ring her Friday night not before.  When I call I will tell her that if she wishes to keep her relationship with me then she will need to go and get help.  If she does not do it then that's it for our relationship.  I'm not being put through last night again. She has needed help for over a year I have been telling her to go talk to someone but no thats out of the question.  Anyway thanks for the messages guys.  Much appreciated

Just tried to call my mother and check on her.  She picked up the phone and immediately burst into tears.  She wouldn't listen to me just kept saying over and over again. "I shouldn't be here any more".  About 10 times then hung up.  I called back and she yelled at me to go away and I can only assume dropped the phone on the floor by the noise.  The phone is now off the hook so no calls to that. I tried the mobile she hung up.  Now I am worried I know she has enough medications to end it all.  So I called everyone I have numbers for to check on her.  Having been that depressed and that unwell I know she is in trouble.  Just wish she would listen to me and get help like I wanted her to in the past. Now only time will tell.  She will be here tomorrow or she wont I cant do any more.

Well the cars back in the driveway, the mechanic even sorted out my stuck drivers window as part of the deal, apparently if it happens again will need a new motor.  I don't want to own it by then that's for sure.  Will get organized tomorrow and wash, clean and detail the car, take all the crap out of it.  Fix two plastic trim pieces that have come away.  Long day in the car by the looks of things. Then tomorrow list the car and carsales.com.au and gumtree.com.au.  See how we go, hoping to get around $12K that will get me enough to get the car I want.  On another note if I disappear for a couple days its because I am changing ISP.  Over $240 a month to $111.00 a month is a HUGE drop for the same service.  I will be back online after the 23rd should that happen.  I hope it wont, and that I will just have a change in user name and password on the 23rd.  Under a month now and I am 39, gets scary as you get closer.  I already know...

Well readers it finally happens tomorrow, the car (P.O.S) is getting its 100,000 km service tomorrow.  I think I did well, my first quote for the work was $1800.00 and Im now only paying $700.00 amazing what happens when you chat to friends.  The place its going is new clean and they have all the tech equip you would expect. From my point of view its the beginning of an end.  I never really wanted this car, and as those who have read my site will tell you, it hasn't exactly been smooth sailing since I got it.  Angry upset and frustrated are words I would use to describe my experiences.  Once this is done I can put it on the market again and get rid of it. After its gone I can follow my heart and get another V8, yes I know they are expensive to run and maintain, yes they are expensive to insure and register.  But for the first time in 7 years I wont be driving a compromise.  My partner and I have been watching the car sales sites an...

I made a comment on some art over at Flimsy Cups  a couple months back.  But tonight I am sitting here thinking about my work. You see I cant paint, I cant sing, I don't play a musical instrument.  But when it comes to colour and layout for web pages I see things that others don't.  That has made me a lot of money in the past.  I am very good at it, but.  I get performance anxiety every time I do a job. For example I do a job for a customer, I know it feels right, that it flows the way it should, that the customer experience will be calming and fluent.  But I worry.  I worry that no one will like it, that the site owner will look at other sites and see theirs doesn't add up.   Now this has never happened but I wonder how long this skill I have can keep going before I get it wrong, or it doesn't work ? I genuinely believe what I do is a form of art, and therefore as the creator I see...

Ok, this is going to be long,  As with everything on this blog, it is my opinion, and my slant on history and how I as an individual see the world both now and in the past.  Note I am not taking away from the sacrifice of those men and women who choose to serve in the worlds navies or their dedication and professionalism.  Now I have that out of the way lets start. When one talks of naval power, its is intrinsically linked with trade.  More specifically sea trade.  There has never been a successful nation on earth that has not had sea trade at its foundations.  More specifically that trade by sea is the most efficient way of traveling vast distances.  Naval power or militarized naval power is something of a necessity, to protect your wealth and the wealth of your trading nations.  Pirates and other more aggressive nations will use force to break any type of sea trade. The above is a simplification of what really happens of course, some na...

So what do you do when someone refuses to forgive you for something you did?  Well im sure there are volumes of psych study that cover this, and the interactions to lead to such situations.  However I will share my experience in the hope others can get something out of it. My father passed away over 2 years ago now, and I miss him every day.  When he was young my grandparents help raise one of my uncles (non blood), after his father left him abandoned.  My uncle Max and my father grew up together and were close for most of their adult lives. As I have stated before during my mental collapse I hurt my parents pretty badly, and with my financial collapse as well my parents lost the way of life that my income provided.  From the outside it looked like I had intentionally made this happen.  Of course we all know now that it was my self destruction that caused the havoc. My parents and my dads sister forgave me, they understood that it wasn't me during t...

Well its time.  Time for my fathers car to leave me for good.  It has been the second worst car I have ever owned and if you knew the worst that is a huge statement.  Everything that could break has and top off the $1000 service at 100,000kms and I have lost all interest in this car. HSV Clubsport R8 Last night we helped friends move house, and I was lucky enough to get a ride in a highly modified HSV Clubsport R8.  It reminded me of what I had given up the chance of having and by this morning I was looking at the Mitsubishi with some loathing.  I wont get much for it and I dont have a lot to add to it to get another car right at the moment.  But I want to buy a car that I can modify, and of course a V8.  I like the idea of a Holden Statesman have owned one in the past and they are an awesome vehicle if not a little on the large side.  Has all the creature comforts including the bigger seats and more legroom.  Top that off with a high...

After decades of house arrest, Aung San Suu Kyi, has gone from political prisoner to a seat in Parliament.  Although this is to be tempered with the thoughts that the military rule is far from over, with Aung San Suu Kyi and her party only able to get 40 out of an assembly of 440.  Its a major step for Burma lets hope for everyone this leads to a free democracy in the future.  On a personal note Aung San Suu Kyi is one of my hero's her peaceful protest has won her world acclaim and now a seat in the assembly.

Well in may I get all that bit closer to the big 40.  The fact I have made it this far has amazed a lot of people.  If you had known me when I had my break down I didn't have that greater odds of living out the year. I have gone into details over the past posts about what it is to live in my shoes.  Although they are often read very few leave comments.  I can understand why.  What do you say to someone who has shared something so private and obviously painful.  I understand why you don't comment and to be honest I am fine with it.  The fact that you read it and may have taken something away because of it, is enough to keep me writing. Among those groups of readers are fellow sufferers.  Its amazing the liberation you feel when you realize that there is someone else out there who is suffering the way you are.  Mental illness is very isolating like that. So as I move another year closer to 40, I look back at the things that have happened ...