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Showing posts from August, 2015

Life and death entangled for eternity

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Life and death are the beginning and the end its what we do in between that matters

Are we looking at this wrong ?

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This post could be either brilliant or just plain out there, as is normal with me so here goes. To get my point across here we need to talk about a couple of theories on the Human mind and what makes as tick.  I will try and make these points as short as possible. Firstly is the idea of "I think therefore I am".  So because we can think about ourselves, others and our surroundings then we have a conscious.  I could write a essay on what it is to be human and how its more than just that statement, and that in our own arrogance we have assumed way to much.  The crucial point for this post is the "I think therefore I am" taken as a literal. Secondly the idea that "I remember so I can learn".  Another fundamental thing that we have assumed makes human beings somehow different from everything else.  Its in this statement that I think we as human being have made a horrible mistake in dealing with mental health. We know we age because of corruption

Betrayal

You know there is a point in every relationship, friendship that lasts a long time, when he or she will commit the ultimate sin.  For some people its when a friend talks out of school how big her friends butt was on Sat night in the new dress. For me I wish it was that simple.  I shrink away from having to many people in my life.  Why?  because they are all a waste of time and emotion in the end.  They will give up and walk out after telling me 1000 times they wont. Its never that simple either, betrayal goes both ways and betraying someone leaving them in the lurch is never a nice thing to do.  Simply people around me betrayed me so I betrayed everyone to justify the hurt and the pain I was experiencing. My biggest betrayal is still people telling others about my MI without asking me first.  It makes it difficult from that point forward to trust that person till I have spoken with them,  and around and around it goes. Am I overly paranoid.  Hell yeah, does this stuff screw you

Lost in the meds.

Hey all; Just a warning this will be introspective and probably a bit boring but its how I feel right now.  You see since I had the Lithium scare we have taken into account my PTSD what caused it well there are plenty of things that could have.  Up until now myself and my Psych have decided that it was not causing any major issues and therefore the treatment for the Bipolar more than covered the  PTSD. Im not sure if I mentioned it or not but I ended up back in hospital after a friend called the police after I had threatened repeatedly to end my life.  Police and EMS turned up and didn't give m e much of a choice to be honest.  I did scare the cops when they said with us or them.  I said or I could close the door chain it and slam the 200 pills OI have and by the time I get to hospital I will be dead.  He reached for his tazar, private joke I found funny but he didn't. Anyway the pysch I saw at the hospital had a long talk and read my treatment plans she suggested that th