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Showing posts from June, 2012

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Well we reached 9000 page views today, thanks to you all

Holding Back the Years

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After reading about Sharron at  Jewelling the elephant  and her effort to go see some live music it made me all sentimental about the music we all used to listen to. So I thought I would add a few of my favorites from the 80's and 90's for everyone to enjoy. Firstly  Simply Red Starship "We Built this City" Mondo Rock "Come Said the Boy Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" Guns n Roses "November Rain" For those who dont know the video clip was based on a short story.  The story for those who are interested can be read here  Dell James "Without You" And I cant finish a music montage without Roxette "Listen to your heart" I grew up listening to this music, it still takes me back to times and places I wont forget, but more importantly for me, a place and time where I was learning about the world around me.  These songs gave me hope, and they

The post you have when you don't have a post

Well all I had a really long post here, but decided against posting it.  Not because I feel pressured to do so, but even for me it was confusing and meandered around what my initial intention was. Instead I will give you a short update on life this end.  My partner dislocated his left shoulder yesterday at work which lead to him having to go to hospital to get it put back in.  He is home now on 2 weeks off, and I am a bit worried because it looks like it wont be a work cover claim and he will loose 2 weeks of wages.  That is a huge deal here right now. Other than that car is still in the driveway and doesn't look like selling.  One online site has offered a refund so I will take that for sure. For those sites I regularly go to, I will be around in the next couple days.  Sorry for the delays.  As for a long post one is brewing so to speak

Priorities

Things always end up being a compromise of some kind, no matter the best intentions.  We live our lives based around a set of priorities.  What do I mean by that ?   Simple really, we create lists in our heads and try to follow them in order the best way we can.  For example on priority is paying our bills on time, another might be going for a daily walk. But its more complex than that.  When goals and priorities come together.  Do you strive towards your goals at the expense of those priorities.  I am finding right now that i have huge conflicts between the goals I want to achieve and those things that I must do.  I have a set of goals I want to achieve, but to achieve them basically I have to give something up.  The only way around this is a compromise.  I wish I didnt have to but I do. I hinted a little while ago I am involved in a project, that will one day see me make some really good money and remove any reliance I have on others for my living.  I want to push this project to

OMG Hyundai

Had to laugh, was reading a forum I frequent, and someone called a Hyundai Getz an example of the high quality of Hyundai's build.   I thought OMG for one of those cars to have good build quality he must have been comparing it with Proton lol Sorry im still laughing

Back to normal whatever that is

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Well all I return with some semblance of my sanity.  Has been a tough couple days, didn't feel like talking eating (I need to not eat more often lol ), or in general communicate in any way form or manner.  However unlike others who don't shower or shave or ... well u get what I mean, I am the opposite I shower and preen myself to the point i am OCD, I wash all my clothes even if they are clean.  God forbid I should Iron though now that's just one step to far lol. Why wont someone buy this car ? Well per usual got stood up 3 times over the weekend when it comes to the car.  Disappointed hurt and very annoyed that people don't even have the common courtesy to call you and say they are not coming.  I suppose one good thing out of it all is that I got the car spotlessly clean, and now I can put the car service off till next week.  I am so emotionally invested in getting rid of this car, I think it was one of the tipping points of my falling off the horse so to speak.

Something Positive

Looks like I have two people looking at the car tomorrow, which is a good thing.  The next car im buying with my heart, something I will enjoy to drive.  Maybe it will help me out of this hell im living right now.  But wont count on it happening as so many times before I just get let down.

Getting through it

Im working through it, taking time for me away from the stress.  Doesn't help I have the car advertised in the Saturday paper and got stood up yet again.  Complete time wasters some people I can tell you.  Im still down and made some not nice comments at dinner tonight.  My partner is fairly concerned about my mental state and has had me re-route the phone calls from the advert to him.  So I might get a full nights sleep tonight. I might wonder up to the temple tomorrow spend some time with simon, he seems to know how to help me when I need it. So im working through it guys not out of the woods yet but getting there.

Having a hard time

I normally avoid writing when I don't feel well.  But I thought this might be helpful for others who suffer from the black dog.  Firstly let me say I am not going to act on what I am about to write, and I will work my way through this.  But it doesn't stop the way things are right now. It all started yesterday, started to get stressed about things and didn't talk to anyone.  This as it inevitably does lead me to anxiety.  After that's gone then I start feeling like I don't want to be here any more.  I look at things I have to do and fall apart, just keep thinking that the world would be a better place without me.  I took the meds and slept and woke up worse.  I keep staring at the floor wondering when this will stop, or if I should stop it. I find myself crying for no reason, and that overwhelming feeling of failure.  That no matter what I do I cannot get anything right.  That I bring those around me down, and that they all deserve better than me. Part of me kno

Lamenting times lost

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I think part of getting older leaves you to wish for the past.  I don't know whether that is because we wish for better days, or that we don't feel comfortable with the way the world has changed around us. When I was younger I couldn't understand why older people insisted on listening to older music, and how uncool that was.  Yet now I find myself in my late 30's and lamenting the music we left behind.  Please don't get me wrong I do like some of the new music, but I find time and time again, that I go back and listen to the songs of my late teens and early 20's. So I find out a couple days courtesy of my partner that the bands I like listening to is bogan (red neck) music.  How did something so cool end up with that status.  I do listen to a lot of Australian bands from that time.  But the way of life I enjoyed has gone now and I know that no matter how much I lament the loss it will never come back. While I can never have my past back I can lis

Some Music

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Hey all; As stated above some music for your ears, Linkin Park at their very best, new album out soon, will pre-order mine this week.  I have included the Lyrics below. Enjoy LYRICS: The cycle repeated as explosions broke in the sky all that I needed was the one thing I couldn't find And you were there at the turn Waiting to let me know We're building it up To break it back down We're building it up To burn it down We can't wait To burn it to the ground The colors conflicted as the flames climbed into the clouds I wanted to fix this / but couldn't stop from tearing it down And you were caught at the turn caught in the burning glow And I was there at the turn Waiting to let you know You told me yes / You held me high And I believed when you told that lie I played that soldier / You played king And struck me down when I kissed that ring You lost that right / to hold that crown I built you up but you let me down so when you fall / I'll take my turn and

Its official "He's Dead Jim"

Well after 4 years of stoic service my main PC has died, it was a slow and painful death with ram pieces failing and then the CPU.  On the positive side I didn't loose anything and I am now able to blog to all you wonderful people in the blog world. Still copying files from the old hard disk drive, about another hour to go.  No way I am loosing any of that stuff. Be back on deck again soon.  Ohh and for those wondering what I replaced it with.  AMD Athlon II processor with 16 gig ram, and 2 2tb HDD's running in raid format.  I do love my AMD chips, fast reliable and your not paying for the privileged of having Intel's name on them.  Anyway its another 2.00am night, will go find the dog and crash.  Night all

Human (Gay) Rights

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If your on the fence about gay marriage rights and you want to know how it all works, I suggest you watch this very personal, very painful experience.  Its very close to home for me, and I think anyone in any long term relationship should watch and take heed. Very brave and very moving please watch and feel free to comment here.  Either side I dont care, its a debate we need to have.

So the world turns

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Firstly let me say I feel much better today, had a very long "im sick" sleep today and feel much better both  lumps are quite small now. Now this will be rambling, and I hope coherent, so your fore warned. As most of you know cars and anything with a motor gets me excited, but more than that it has been a life long obsession.  In Australia currently there are two car manufacturers Ford Australia and General Motors Holden.  Both have been manufacturing cars here since the 1930's.  And done quite well out of it as well. But times have changed.  Competition from overseas car companies from Korea, Japan, China, Indonesia, and to a smaller extent Europe and the USA, have hammered their old markets.  Both car manufacturers post huge first 1/4 losses this year, and both are calling for government handouts to continue production here. Now this is an interesting time, with both manufacturers not guaranteeing an Australian built family car past 2015.  Why wont they comm

Not well

Hi all; Sorry about the delay in posting this last week, but I havent been very well.  It turns out I have two badly infected glands, they swelled up and got very sore.  I have been put on very strong anti-biotic s but am under orders should the lumps not be gone on  Monday when I see the doctor they will be admitting me to hospital. He seems to think I have some kind of glandular fever again, yes you heard me again.  So I am under orders for complete rest and recuperation.  Will post again soon but its hard to think of worthy things toi post when your full of anti-biotics.